This question is similar to Can't turn off SNI on apache, where Michael Hampton mentioned it's not possible to disable and eckes suggested that if you can force HTTP/1.0 you should bypass the SNI problem (either client or server side I guess).
The reason for this is likely my usage of stunnel + sslh,
stunnel:443 -> sslh -> stunnel:444 -> apache(ssl):4431
stunnel (manpage) can send SNI headers. So you can probaly fix your problem at that level, but that's worth another question.